Is he mine?

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.

The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me – is our youngest son my child?”

The wife replied, “I swear on everything that’s holy that he is your son.” With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, “Thank God he didn’t ask about the other three.”

Lipstick Remover

A man goes to his doctor and says, ”Doctor, Doctor, please help me! I’ve got a problem.”

The doctor examines the man and finds the man has a red ring around his penis.

The doctor gives him an ointment to rub on the problem area. ”It’s all cleared up!” the man reports when he returns.

”But what was that medication you gave me?”

”Lipstick remover.”

Don’t wanna miss a thing

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?”

The mother says, “It’s my daughter Darla, she keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings.”

The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and says, “Well,I don’t know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant – about 4 months would be my guess.”

The mother says, “Pregnant?! She can’t be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Darla?” Darla says, “No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man!”

The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, “Is there something wrong out there doctor?”

The doctor replies, “No, not really, it’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I’ll be darned if I’m going to miss it this time!”