Me, Myself & I

The World the way I see it

Marriage Commandments

Posted by Luminus on June 2, 2006

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning. 

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about Something you
say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished..

Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.
But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The
wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "So It really works!"

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13 Responses to “Marriage Commandments”

  1. Pete said

    Full of Wisdom today, Luminus! Nice one…

  2. Luminus said

    Whoa! Somebody actually thinks I’m wise. I’m gonna take a screenshot of this comment, print it on my favourite shirt and wear it everywhere I go.

  3. jane said

    lol. That was sidesplitting. 🙂

  4. Luminus said

    Jane, I’m glad it tickles you.

  5. Solar said

    lol. this is are facts, but they are not the truth. this do happen, but marriage could be better.

  6. keji said

    we should make it work,our marriages can be better,what do you think

  7. Luminus said

    Keji, sure, whatever you say.
    When you talk about our marriage are you talking about me and you or what. Just kidding 🙂

  8. keji smith said

    sure you are.i mean everyboby,you and i inclusive!

  9. Luminus said

    You and I inclusive? hmm…. are you trying to tell me something?

  10. keji smith said

    no dear
    ,i mean make it work for you okey
    and when i get to start mine,i’ll do same

  11. Luminus said

    lol. I know. Just pulling your legs girl friend, just pulling your legs.

  12. keji smith said

    dude,
    but i know.stay good you!

  13. Luminus said

    Keji,
    I’ll try. I’m not promising anything, but I’ll try. You stay good too, OK.

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